My girlfriend saved my life. I was going to kill myself, but she stopped me. She wrote me this letter, and it got me to thinking. It knocked some sense into me, and I realized that I didn't want to die. Even though life can be really hard sometimes, it's still worth living. Maria makes it worth living.
But Maria doesnt want to live. Not anymore. Hell, the tables have definitely turned.
It's been a year since I thought about blowing my brains out. It's actually been a really good year for me. I graduated high school and got a nice-paying job. Good stuff happened to me. Bad stuff happened to Maria. Really bad stuff. At the beginning of the year, her mom died. Car accident. Maria was devastated. No matter how many times she would yell at her mother and tell her she hated her, she never really meant it. Her mom was her best friend, and when she died, a part of Maria died.
It got worse after that. Lots of little thing started to pile up and stress her out, things like school work and her job and probably me. I should have done my part to help her out, but I was stupid. Whenever she had free time and would want to sleep, I would ask her if she wanted to have sex. Yeah, I'm a real good boyfriend. My girlfriend was exhausted, and I didn't even give her the chance to rest. I'm really a dumb-ass.
I thought that things would eventually get better, easier. Once we graduated, I thought that she would be less stressed without all that schoolwork to do, but she wasn't. She lost her job, and she had to rely on me to support her. Maria hated having to depend on anyone. Even me.
The last straw was in August. Maria's car broke down about a block away from my house, so she had to walk home. All she had to do was walk. She just had to take a few more steps, but she wasn't able to. Someone grabbed her. Some guy. He raped her, right there on the sidewalk, just like that. I was up in my apartment. I could have stopped it, but I was too busy listening to my stupid Metallica CD. I couldn't hear her crying.
Too much happened to Maria too fast. This past year hasn't been good to her at all. I haven't even been as good to her as I should've been. Now she's going to overdose on purpose because life was so cruel to her.
I understand you now, Michael, she told me once. I understand why you were gonna end it all.
I won't let you end it, Maria. You mean too much to me. I can't let you disappear. You're fading fast, and I've got to stop you.
And so begins my letter . . .
Reasons Why Maria Should Live:
1. She lets me borrow her car. I drive that Jetta all around Roswell. Whenever I need to go somewhere to do something, she lets me take it without even asking. I even put a dent in the driver's side door once, and she just shrugged it off. Cool girl, cool car . . . what more could I ask for?
2. She keeps my apartment clean. Whenever there's anything on the floor, she'll tell me to pick it up. If I dont, she'll do it herself. She cleans my bathroom for me, and I gotta give her credit for that. I know how the girl feels about my bathroom. She makes it a point to tell me that it's disgusting, so I give her credit for finding the courage to clean it.
3. She can sing. She's got real talent. Seriously. The music industry needs her. With all this bubble-gum pop crap floating around on the radio, Maria's music would be the perfect cure to all this lyrical insanity. Britney Spears doesnt have anything on my girlfriend. Maria can kick Britney's ass.
4. She wears that Crashdown outfit a lot. She got fired from her waitress job at the Crashdown, but she kept the uniform. (And I sure am glad she did!) If Maria takes her life, then that uniform's just gonna collect dust under my bed. That's a hot little outfit, and it deserves to be worn by a hot girl. And I deserve to see what she looks like when shes taking it off. (Hell, yeah!)
5. She's got all these different hairstyles. Is it a coincidence that everyone gets their hair cut just like Maria's just after she gets it cut? No. Is it a coincidence that everyone gets into wearing extensions when she does? I dont think so. Maria's got this fashion trend thing goin' on, and even though I'm not one for fashion, I think it's cool that my girlfriend has such an influence over people.
Alright, so I tried to be funny. Now I'll try to be serious . . .
6. She makes me happy. Anyone who knows me knows that Im not a happy kind of guy. Before I met Maria, I was pretty much pissed off all the time. But now all this weird stuff is happening to me. I'm smiling and laughing and cracking jokes and stuff. All because of her. All because of the things she says and does. I'd be really upset all the time if she wasn't here to make me happy.
7. She makes me mad. Okay, so I'm not ALWAYS happy. No one's always happy. You wouldn't think that anger is something good, but it can be. When she's mad at me and when I'm mad at her, things are explosive between us. I feel like I'm gonna combust when were arguing with each other. Strangely enough, that can be a good feeling, too.
8. I've never met anyone like her before. I've only known her for a little over the year, and I'm sure I don't know everything about her. I look forward to learning more, because she's so incredible. Every part of her, even the bad parts, are good parts to me. I've never met anyone who makes me want to hold her even when I think I hate her. I know I'll never meet anyone like her again.
9. I wanna spend the rest of my days with her. I try not to think about the future a lot, but whenever I do, all I see is her. I wanna be with her forever, through the good times and the bad times, through the easy times and the hard times. I wanna be there to hold her when she cries. I wanna be there to talk some sense into her when she's being stupid. I wanna be there to kiss her when she just needs to feel.
10. She makes me feel alive. I dont think I was living before I met Maria DeLuca. I know I wasn't. Maria is my life. She's the reason why I'm alive today, and she's the reason why I keep living. I love her so much, and I would die if she killed herself. We'd both go six feet under, 'cause I can't stand to be without her. Maria is a name I associate with life. If she kills herself, I'll have to associate that name with death, too, and that's something that I just can't do. Ever.
. . . and so ends my letter. It's not all eloquent and fancy. It's just plain and simple and to the point. She'll either love it or hate it. She'll either thank me for it or yell at me for it. I don't know if she wants me to help her, but I know that I'm going to no matter what.
I'll be better to her if she stays with me. I'll tell her I love her more often. I'll help her if someone's hurting her. I'll let her rest when she's tired. I'll do everything I should've made more of an effort to do. I'll do everything. I'll be everything. I'll give her life; I'll give her mine if I have to. I'll do anything, because I need her. I love her.
Please, Maria . . . please live.
THE END
Story Notes:
SEQUEL TO "WHY MICHAEL SHOULD LIVE."
DISCLAIMER: Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
DISCLAIMER: Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.